Here’s an interesting idea: Boredom is conflict.

In a research study conducted in the 1950s, psychologists determined that boredom indicates a conflict between what one is doing and what one wants to be doing. In other words, when we wish we were somewhere else, doing something else, we are likely to be bored with where we are now or what we're doing now.

Now, I've always thought of boredom as the absence of conflict. Too little stimulation. Too much repetition. Disinterest. Lassitude. But on rethinking it, I see how longing for some different reality can cast a heavy pall on the current situation.

Boredom, then, is a signal flare. It can help us identify what we care about (that which we're not currently doing) and separate it from something we care less about (that which we are currently doing). It can help us clarify our dreams. It can help us define our priorities.

So with this in mind, perhaps, when we find ourselves bored, we will start looking for what we’re conflicted about. Perhaps we will try to identify what it is we long for, so we can take the necessary steps to move in that direction. We'll know that what we're bored by is not nearly as important as what we would rather have instead. Or do instead.

Or be instead.

Living in the real world, we find ourselves in a complex, challenging network of family, health, job, idealism, discouragement, fatigue, etc. Is it surprising that sometimes we lose sight of a vision we hold in our hearts?

A writer friend once told me the only road she sees stretching ahead for her is the 9 to 5 job. When there are only a few hours left each day, and there's home, family, spouse, church and civic responsibilities, where can one find the time for art? For recreation and relaxation? How do we squeeze in anything else?

Maybe it’s time to stop thinking about time and look more closely at our values.

Almost every minute, life requires we make choices. Choices of how to use the time we have, of what to put first, of whether to act one way or another. If we're conscious of the choices, we're in a better position to at least weigh the trade-offs, to see if a given choice costs us more than we might gain.

But sometimes the choices we made long ago will influence future choices for a long time in the future. For instance, choosing to raise a child pretty much plots a course for the next 18-20 years.

So do we find peace by making the best of what we have and finding happiness in our present circumstance? Or does peace come from confronting difficulties and making changes? Obviously there is no one answer. Sometimes refusing to accommodate a less-than-perfect situation opens up vast opportunities for growth and greater well-being. Sometimes looking at what we have with more love and acceptance turns a frustrating situation into one that can be vastly satisfying.

If we hold a special vision of a talent to pursue, a cause to fight for, or a goal to reach, maybe it's important to cast aside all interferences and pursue that vision with all the energy we possess. Many of the great artists, statesmen, scientists, etc. throughout history took that approach and the world is greater for their efforts.

Most of us feel such a sacrifice would be too great. We love our families, we gain personal satisfaction

from our involvements in other ventures, we want more variety and balance in our lives. So then we have to shuffle our priorities, concentrating on our families when our families need us, working the 9 - 5 job when necessary, making our communities richer from our involvement, giving time now and then to our vision – to the degree we're able. At times like this, it’s important to identify our values and apply our limited time to those things we value most.

This is often a matter of laying time and vision side-by-side and evaluating what matters most and asking such questions as: How do the different pressures in my life line up together? Do any of my values unite them? In what ways do they meet some larger goal?

Sometimes by focusing only on time, we find ourselves diverted from other values.

In an animated discussion on fear, a good friend and I tried to discriminate between rational and irrational fears, physical vs. psychological, helpful vs. unhelpful, reasonable vs. unreasonable. None of these distinctions worked for both of us.  Between us we could argue that all fears are rational or that all are irrational. 

We did agree on a few points:

1. Fears are signal flags to notify us of the specific lessons of our lives. If we're willing to explore a fear and face it, we'll discover an important segment of our personal self-development.

2. We don't confront fears until we're ready.

3. The rationality or irrationality of a fear depends on one's perspective. To you, my fears may look irrational, while to me they are reasonable and necessary. 

4. We can remove judgment from our view of others by accepting their fears to be as rational as our own. 

Fear may be one of the most powerful forces to keep us from reaching our highest potential, but every fear serves a purpose. Fear protects us from harm. And when we're on the inside looking out, we value its protective value and want to hold onto it. Most likely what we fear isn't actually a threat. To grow from it we must face it and learn of our invulnerability.  Until we're ready for that big step, however, we can accept ourselves and our fears without judgment. And we can be accepting of others as they deal with theirs.

In the end, it’s important to acknowledge your fears for any protective value they may provide. Then recognize that as you grow more aligned with your inner truth, fears become less necessary.